


The Loss

by Mister_Spock



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst heavy, Hurt!Spock, Mutilation, Vaguely feel good ending, alternative universe, no graphic descriptions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-19 01:36:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5951212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mister_Spock/pseuds/Mister_Spock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An Alternative take on the 2009 reboot. Instead of Kirk gaining control of the Enterprise, Spock remains as the Captain and follows his orders with disastrous consequences for all.<br/>Complete</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Loss

He failed.

And his failure cost him his planet.

~

One thing that Spock didn't count on when he spoke to young Jim Kirk on Delta 6 was that his young counterpart was not him.  
This new Spock had not worked with Christopher Pike for 11 years.  
He had not been disowned by his Father for choosing Starfleet.  
And he did not have a well-established relationship with Jim Kirk. In fact, he had no relationship with him.

So that was why when Kirk emotionally compromised Spock, he did not release his hold on the young man until he passed out. He left Kirk's body to slip down onto the floor and left security to take him to the brig, taking along the intruder with him.

And so Spock did what he'd been ordered to do by Christopher Pike. He headed back to earth by which time Nero had already started his attack on the planet and with no real plan beyond that, the crew of the Enterprise watched helplessly as Earth was destroyed.

It wasn't that they did nothing. They attacked Nero's ship. They sent an urgent message to the planet to evacuate. They even beamed up as many people as they could before Nero attacked them, driving them away, off into space.  
Nero had completed his mission. He'd made Spock watch as Vulcan was destroyed and then destroyed the only other place he thought of as home.  
He's taken all that he could.

Pike was executed by Nero.

The Enterprise drifted, aimlessly. With no one to take control, everyone numbed to the losses, they set a course to the nearest Starbase.

Spock remained in the Captain's chair. He didn't give many orders.  
Nyota hovered by him, concerned. But he paid little notice to her.

Sarek came to his quarters one time. He spoke. He did not know if Spock listened. And he left his son, feeling the burden of his guilt and sense of loss. He worried but could do nothing to soften his son's pain.

And McCoy went to the bridge. First demanding Spock do something about Jim in the brig. When his demands were met with silence, McCoy lowered his voice and leant closer, asked again more gently and softly.

“I shall see to it soon,” Spock replied, voice flat. Dead. And McCoy left, worried.

Much later, Kirk was brought into sickbay.

McCoy raised his eyebrows at Kirk's appearance.

“I was sent to have a full medical check-up by Spock before I can be released,” he stated.

“We're only a few hours from Starbase 1.”

“And then what? Everyone we know, Bones. Everyone's dead. I was supposed to stop it. I was supposed to talk Spock round.”

Once Jim was cleared, released finally and after he made sure Scotty was allowed out of the brig he went to find Spock. He went to the bridge and then his quarters. When both proved unsuccessful he used the computer to locate Spock.  
Yet, the computer could not locate him on the ship.

Much later, after he'd checked with Nyota when she'd last seen him, spoken to his father and talked to McCoy, they found a shuttle was missing.

Starbase 1 was a couple of hours away and there was nothing they could do. The crew were exhausted, mentally drained, most coming from Earth. So they landed.

There were no orders to follow so everyone headed to the Starbase. Tried to find ways to contact anyone who had survived.

Kirk's brother and his family were off planet at the time. His mother had gone out to see them, also managing to survive although his stepfather had perished and they'd lost their home.  
McCoy's ex-wife was gone.  
Nyota's lost everyone except a sister and a cousin also off planet at the time.  
There was barely anyone of the crew who wasn't affected by the loss.

McCoy brought him up. Spock.  
Nyota seemed to have forgotten him in her grief but he'd seen Sarek and couldn't ignore the man as he lost his home, family, wife and now maybe his son in such a short time.  
Jim shrugged. Spock was never his problem.

~

McCoy left.

There was some brass left from Starfleet and they set up a temporary HQ on the starbase.  
Jim was able to give some much-needed clarity onto the whole situation with Nero, what his reasoning had been. It was likely they'd encounter him again some day but for now, he had vanished.

And Jim was mad and in his mind, the blame lay on Spock's shoulders and he was sure to mention it. He didn't really expect much.  
Later, Starfleet laid the blame of the Earth disaster on the Romulans and their Vulcan ancestors, most notably, Spock.

It was a long time before Kirk finally left the starbase. And when he did and travelled back into space, Captain of the Enterprise.  
And then he realised what he'd done.

~

He remembered hearing one of Spock's Captain's Log's from the short time he was in command. He mentioned being an endangered species. He didn't think much of it until during exploration of space he encountered a Vulcan execution.  
Vulcans and Romulans were considered a race that needed eradicating. He watched it happen, didn't try and stop it. In reality, he knew he couldn't.  
But he didn't sleep well for many nights afterwards.

~

Months later, he met up with McCoy.

He'd set up on a planet, one of several 'alternative Earth' planets.  
McCoy was doing good work. Set up a successful emergency care unit. Treated all types of aliens and had specialists working in different units.  
They even had warp capable crafts for emergency rescue missions. McCoy had dedicated himself to preserving all life forms.

Hearing what McCoy was doing, coupled with his guilt lead to a drunken confession about the Vulcan he watched get executed. McCoy's face hardened and he told Jim to sleep it off.

In the morning, Jim barely remembered it at first. But when he did and remembered Bones' reaction, he told him he regretted everything he told Starfleet about what had happened. If he'd somehow caused this backlash against the Vulcan's. He'd never meant for that to happen.

“You're really sorry, aren't you?” McCoy asked him.  
And Jim nodded.

~

He hadn't known what to expect when Bones said he wanted to show him something.  
But Bones was nervous, he could tell. And it didn't make any sense until he stepped through the heavy set of doors, locking automatically behind them and then, and it all made sense.

“We have a 'dark side', so to speak,” McCoy said.

“What is this?” Kirk asked.

“It's a place where they don't have to be afraid,” McCoy explained.

A Vulcan and Romulan underground treatment facility. But it was more than that. Bones had healers and Vulcans and Romulans working there, helping one another.  
And Kirk was about to ask why, when he met eyes with one hooded figure. But the reaction he saw in those eyes was beyond fear, it was utter terror.

McCoy spotted it too. “It's okay!” he called, acting to reach the Vulcan before he bolted. He had enough trust in McCoy to listen as he stood still, waited.

So McCoy leads them into an empty room. Told Kirk how he happened across Spock. It was months after the disaster, weeks after Starfleet had laid the blame on Vulcans and Spock specifically by name. Carefully, he reached for Spock's hood and pulled it back slightly, exposing a little of the Vulcan's overgrown hair. He parted it, Spock tried not to flinch at the touch, exposed the small lump of flesh that had been Spock's ear. Bones heard the sharp intake of air from Kirk and he pulled the hood back over, hiding it away.  
“That was just for starters,” he said. “Nearly every Vulcan or Romulan here has suffered horrific injuries. This place is an underground treatment facility for them. I can't risk having it up with the others. We treat them here and offer them a permanent place to stay. It's not ideal. It's underground and not as warm as I'd like it for them, but it's safe.”

“I'm sorry,” Jim says before Bones can say anything else. Jim looks to Spock for a moment but then turns when Spock says nothing. The look of fear hadn't left his dark eyes.

~

Bones comes to find Jim after a while.

“I had to calm him down,” he said as an explanation.

“He's scared of me?” Jim asks.

“I'm usually the only human any of them see now. He thought you wanted to kill him.”

Jim closed his eyes. “He was too afraid to speak?” he realises.

Bones shakes his head sadly. “Wasn't just his ears he lost, Jim.” And Bones watches Kirk crumble, resolve break as he realises just how horrible this all is.

~

Jim begs to see Spock again before they leave and Bones checks first.

He agrees but still looks terrified, Jim thinks. And the only thing he can do is plead with Spock for his forgiveness. And the Vulcan looks unsure, looks to Bones for guidance, who nods at him gently, smiling slightly.  
Kirk offers his hand before he realises this isn't right for a Vulcan and he tries to remember what you're supposed to say when parting with a Vulcan but he catches Bones shaking his head, telling him not to.  
Kirk curses himself and tells Spock again he's sorry before he leaves the room.

~

He wants to help, he tells Bones.

He nods and says all he can do is bring them to him. Jim nods and Bones gives him a cloaking device, to stop others scanning them, from knowing they have a Vulcan or Romulan aboard.  
McCoy tells him to be careful and wonders if he'll ever see Jim again.

He hopes so.

~

McCoy didn't see Jim that often.

But he was true to his word that whenever he did see him, he usually had a number of Vulcan or Romulan's that he had helped on board, needing McCoy's help.  
He never asked to see Spock, but he always asked after him.  
And he got the same answer most times. He was doing as well as could be expected.

~

Jim had this idea. That the Vulcan's and Romulan's needed a new planet.

Somewhere safe, protected. His crew all felt the same as him regarding the treatment of them and wanted to help right the wrong. Jim's other idea was that new planet has a new Earth planet nearby and that the people there would help protect the planet.  
But it felt like more of a dream. Even with his crew, humans, Vulcans and Romulans were all vastly outnumbered compared to other species who wanted them gone. The Klingons had been the most aggressive in their barbaric treatment.

So he kept the idea to himself and hoped that one day, maybe he'd be able to do more.

~

There's a certain amount of trust McCoy puts in Spock. Most likely, because he served with him, however briefly, on the Enterprise.  
But since McCoy started his work here, he'd got to understand more about Vulcan's. The truth was, right now, as a species, they were in huge trouble. Most of the ones McCoy saw had been mutilated in some way, but there were a few that had come to him unscathed, which he was grateful for.  
But he had learnt about how hard broken bonds were for Vulcan's and that each of them was suffering huge loss from their home planets destruction, not to mention marital bonds and other close family bonds.  
Through Spock, he learnt how hard it was for them to control their emotions, to follow the path they had chosen.

For the younger ones, it was that much harder. Their behaviour was more fitting of a Romulan. Even adult Vulcan's were showing more displays of emotion. McCoy didn't think he'd miss the impassive look of a Vulcan so much as he did now, watching them struggle, day after day.  
Often he found himself complaining to Spock about his lack of facilities and equipment. And nearly every time, Spock would work diligently on a programme or a design to help.

Most days they spent working together in McCoy's office. It kept Spock busy. He hoped he was happy, at least as happy as a Vulcan in these circumstances could be.

~

Kirk had seen plenty of terrible things since he'd started to help McCoy.

But the child he cradled in his arms had been the worst of all.

He'd been to McCoy's office plenty of time, but he usually gave him some notice. This time he barged in and was laying the infant on the bed in the corner of the room because there was never enough space. “She needs help now, Bones.”

McCoy was hovering over her, scanning her, within seconds and it took Jim a while to tear his eyes away from her and notice the Vulcan that stood beside him.

“Spock?”

“Shut up Jim, and pass me the emergency kit over there,” McCoy said, pointing off to the side.

Kirk grabbed it and placed it next to McCoy. He watched and waited.

~

At some point, he'd left the room. Couldn't stand it when he thought she wasn't going to make it.  
But McCoy was better than that. He came out a while later, weary but smiling.

“She's gonna be okay. Spock's keeping an eye on her.”

“You're sure?”

McCoy nodded.

Jim sighed in relief. “Is it me, or are these things getting worse? What they're doing...”

“They're getting more creative. It's different. With the earlier cases, they did all they could to mutilate their Vulcan features.

“Spock?” he asked, uncertain.

“Ask him.”

“I can't. You told me what happened to him.”

“You think in all this time, he and I haven't found a way to communicate? Think about it, Jim.” Bones said before he left.

~

Spock looked up when Jim stepped back into the room.

The Vulcan was sat beside the girl, his arm upon her which he slowly and deliberately moved as Jim entered. He stopped just inside the door. He knew how fragile things were with the Vulcan's, even one's Bones had taken in.

“Can I come in?”

Spock stood and went to a computer and made a few adjustments before a voice told him that he may. It was a male voice but it was not Spock.  
Noting Jim's confusion, Spock explained. “Dr McCoy did not tell you what was done to me, I assume?” It sounded Vulcan.

“No.” Was all Jim could say.

“I will grant the doctor permission to inform you of what happened. I wish not to speak of it.”

Jim nodded. “And her?”

“The Doctor has provided good care for her. She will make a full physical recovery yet her bonds and mental stability will need work. I shall attempt to soothe her until a surrogate family can be found for her. Options are limited, however. I must return to her. A physical connection is important to her right now. I shall inform the Doctor I have given permission for him to disclose details on my condition.”

Jim watched Spock as he once again made adjustments on the computer and then returned to the child's bedside.

~

It was late.

McCoy had checked on the child and was to leave her with Spock for the night.

“Spock will tell me if there are any problems.” Bones assured Kirk as he held up a small device and placed it into his ear. “It's like someone talking into your ear. It's kinda weird, actually.”

“Where'd you get that?”

“Spock made it. Before that, it wasn't easy for him to communicate, which, you already know.” McCoy downed the rest of his drink. “Listen, I talked to him about this whole disclosure thing. I know he doesn't mind you knowing and I know he doesn't want to talk about. But you know what? Going through what happened doesn't exactly thrill me either, so here,” he handed a PADD across to Jim. “You can read what he went through and then if you have any questions, shoot.”

~

Jim couldn't sleep that night.

Humans had done it. Stripped away so much. Those ears that were one of the most distinct things about Vulcans or Romulans. They were gone. Spock usually kept his hood up at all times, but he had noticed that his hair was longer now, hiding the truth beneath it.  
McCoy's notes said that so much of Spock's left hand had been severed that it had been easier to remove it than to try and save it. And they had cut off Spock's middle and ring finger on his right hand.  
Jim felt that everything the Vulcan accomplished with his limits was even more impressive with such knowledge.  
The removal of his tongue had been the last thing that had happened to him before he was saved.

McCoy had helped Spock but he was able to help him most by giving Spock something to do. It started off as an odd job here and there, nothing taxing as McCoy wasn't sure how well he'd cope with his limitations. But he had thrived. And once he had found a way for them to communicate, Spock was able to let McCoy know that keeping a Vulcan mind busy was one of the most important things he could do.

~

They were all going to die.

That he was certain of.  
The Klingons attacked without warning, barging their way into the hideout. They wanted the Vulcans and Romulans gone for good.  
Jim couldn't say he was surprised when Spock fled with the injured child he had bought to McCoy just hours ago. Any Vulcan or Romulan that had ventured out to see what was happening had vanished from sight.

Jim briefly wondered what would happen to him and Bones, whether they'd be spared and then remembered these were Klingons and they would show no mercy, to any of them.

When the door the Klingons had entered through bolted shut and couldn't be opened, the lead Klingon laughed at the, “You have sealed yourselves in your own tomb,” he bellowed.

“No. You have walked into yours,” came an eerie voice floating around them. It sounded like the voice Spock had used to communicate. Jim barely had time to ponder how many Vulcan's had access to it when all of the doors to the rooms opened.

And it seemed as though the Klingons had forgotten one thing when they came here to kill and that was that Vulcan's and Romulans shared a savage ancestry.  
And when you pissed them off enough, there was little you could do to stop them, even if they were maimed. They attacked easily, using a telepathic influence to down them, hold them in place while their weapons were taken.  
That was when they showed that they were done being afraid.

Jim watched as The Vulcans and Romulans became one.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still mostly posting stories that have already been completed.  
> I've been working on some new stories but it's been a bit of an uphill struggle. Writing is a bit like that some times. Hopefully, I'll get on it very soon. :)


End file.
